On my way....and loving the journey!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Lots of wonderful in unexpected places!
I know it has been a while and frankly, I have a real good reason. In my long moment of silence from blogging, a lot of things seem to have changed and continue to change in my life. But more importantly the way I view things in my life are changing also.
I suppose I should start from the very beginning, when all this "change" started and the energy shifted. About 6.5 months ago some really rough spots hit my marriage. I am married to a wonderful and loving man, we love each other more then perhaps either of us ever thought we could love another person, but even with all this love, things went wrong. Somehow life and selfish choices lead us into the red zone. It was a dark place for me, a very difficult and unyeilding time. I looked for answers in all the wrong places and placed blame on all the wrong people. During this recent struggle within our marriage we were so fortunate and felt so blessed to concieve. After nearly 5 years of trying we were pregnant. All of a sudden all of the darkness and pain from the month before disappeared. Instead of working through our issues that put our marriage into the red zone in the first place we both pretended it never happend. I mean why would we, everything was okay now, we were pregnant and we were going to have a baby! There were other things to think of, names, nurseries, clothes, stocking up on diapers, etc... We didn't convinced ourselves that we didn't have the time to focus on "that stuff" we had more important things to work on and put our energy toward.
But the pregnancy was just a difficult as the moment we just passed within our marriage only a month before hand. Our baby joy was short lived and we accended on an emotional rollacoster ride. One week the Doctors were saying I was pregnant and everything was fine, the following week I was told the baby had died and I should have a D&C, this went on like this week after week for 9 weeks. Now that I reflect it was the same sort of emotinal rollacoster that was happening within our marriage. Finally in week 9 I miscarried and my husband never left my side for one second. He was my only source of strength in a time that was painful and difficult on so many levels. He held my hand, he cried with me, he clean up after me, the first 24 hours were the worst. I had to deal with a miscarriage and cysts bursting on my ovaries at the same time, the pain was incredible. He never left my side. This is profound and maybe too much information, but I feel so compelled to say it. I am eternally grateful and blessed that he was there, words can not express it.
During our pregnancy we did not really sit down to work through and resolve our problems and the issues that plagued our marriage. We simply swept them under the rug and figured out of sight out of mind. Besides we had this wonderful pregnancy to focus on...
Well, the pregnancy did not last, nor did the denial of facing our demons. When the pregnancy fell apart, so did we (to a certain point). Not only did we have the pain of loosing a child but all the issues we had been faced with before resurfaced. Like a cork popping out of a bottle of Champange....full force and it felt as though the bottle had been shaken rather vigorisly before hand! Oh boy, it was not a pretty site. We now had nothing to hide behind or deflect the actions which put our marriage in the red zone to start with.
I fell into a black hole, and allowed this darkness, these demons to consume me. It was like a plague, it seemed impossible to stop and killed everything within its path. I felt as though there was nothing wrong with me or my choices or my behaviour. I blamed everything on my husband and expected him to change everything about himself. Of course it is always easier to blame someone else then to work on yourself. Now, looking back I am eternally grateful to the Universe for hitting me over the head with a 2by4! It was the start of the energy shift; it was the start to reclaiming who I was. Someone who I thought I laid to rest many, many years ago....
I realized that I was living my life in fear, building walls higher then mountains, viewing life like an old disillusioned synic. Wow, I had my homework cut out for me. I realized that I must claim it to change it. So with great difficulty I started to do so......years of pain, lack of confidence, the feelings of not being worthy, the struggles with my weight, the abuse and neglect of my childhood (not from my parents - just to be clear). I had spent my whole life trying to please others, giving away everything that was sacred and beautiful, the purity and love I had in me....I let people abuse me, use me, mistreat me, degrade me, take advantage of my naivity. I did so willingly. I thought that was the only way I would be, could be loved. Change yourself to please the other. Turn the other cheek.
I had decades of emotional havoc to work through. I had to choose to reprogram my belief system. I had to choose to follow my heart. To allow myself to make up my own mind. I had to allow myself to grieve all the wrong doings that I permitted to be done to me. It was two very difficult months, two months of opening wounds that I had voluntarily closed. Opening my heart again to the fears that dwelled within them.
I remember durning this time, my husband who simply would say to me..."let it go Eni" Man oh man, everytime he said it I became more and more furious with him. I thought to myself, "what the hell does he know what I am going through, it is all his fault that I feel this way". While I will not deny that issues we faced in September 2011 were brought on by my husband. However, it is absolutly not his fault that I had these demons living within my heart and mind. You know, with all the internal "work" I have been doing I came to realize that I had actually blamed my husband for pretty much everything that every happend to me in my past. I recall this one time I told him that I have kissed too many frogs, so he was going to pay for that. I held him personally accountable for everything that haunted me from my past....I remember his saying so often " I don't want to pay for ***** mistakes" But boy oh boy, I made him pay! Yup, I guess in a certain way I made my bed. Not that I am the sole reason for any of the issues we faced only a few short months ago, but without it happening I would have never had the courage (or perhaps need) to look within. To open my closet of skeletons, to open up the grave where I had buried all my demons and let them rave havoc on my life, my emotions, my belief system.
With this new energy shift, with the internal work that I have and continue to do on myself. I have noticed some very unexpected and pleasent surprises within my life. First of all, I have adopted the mantra "Let it go, just let it go Eni" this has actually changed my viewpoint on so many things within my life. I started to learn to love me....oh let me tell you, that is a tough one! But I see me in a whole new way. For almost 7 years I have lived in PJ's, yoga pants (but did not do the yoga part) worn out t-shirts, glasses that I have had since I was 15 years old, shoes that have holes in them, underwear that is literally falling apart, no skin care, or hair cuts....it was sad to see. I have been living like that for such a long time, I just thought I was comfortable enough to not worry about my apperance. But let me tell you something, the moment that I started to love and value myself as a woman, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a person! I started to want to care for myself more. Don't misunderstand me, I am writing this whilst I sit here in my PJ's (worn out ones for that matter)! I realized that I had not bought myself ANYTHING in YEARS!!! clothing, shoes, makeup, UNDERWEAR!!!!!! I spent my life, purchasing my pain away....I bought, I shopped but for my daughter, my husband, my mother, my sister, etc.....not that it ever took anything away except what was in my wallet :)
I never put myself first, I put myself last, heck I wasn't even on the list! So all the moms, and wives and women caring for others, putting yourself last is NOT a mother thing. It is a "I don't love myself and feel worthy" thing. The moment I started putting myself higher and higher on the list, the more my family (immediate and extended) started to change how they saw me, how they treated me. How I treated myself. For example, my darling, sweet little girl, wants to dress up and feel pretty, she hugs me and tells me how beautiful I am, her whole attitude towards herself has also changed - I see her being more confident, she has the feeling of stronger selfworth and is happier in general.
So what did I do?
Well aside from doing - and continuing to do so - the internal therapy and work, I started and desired to focus on the fun stuff. The outside, my insides are on the path and I am loving the journey....so the outside has to reflect that. At least for me. I started weight watchers, with my husband in tow, we have both lost weight....I have lost about 20 lbs in 4 weeks. Well, in truth we haven't officially "joined" yet, but I bought the cookbook and we are making as many healthy choices as possible. I will join next week, online - I don't do meetings!
I also started up my pilates routine, although not as full force as when I first started it months ago, but I do an hour 3 times a week. So, eating right, excersise. What else you may ask? I started wearing clothing that no longer hid me, I relish my voluptous rubenesque body...no more huge oversized bleach stained and ripped t-shirts. I feel young, trendy, attractive and in the first time perhaps in my whole life absolutely in love with my body. Naturally I went shopping to reflect that part of me. But this time I had NO guilt in purchasing something that I love for myself.
I went and got my eyes checked and purchased new glasses 15 years in the waiting!!!
Bought some makeup, new earings, got my hair cut and colored....
But I suppose the most important and happy change in my marriage. I learned to "let go" in the begining for my own sanity, but now because in such a short period of time my mantra is my way of life. Letting go of old friendships that no longer serve my heart or life in a healthy way, letting go of belief systems that were integrated into my life from childhood, letting go of my fears of being hurt in life and love, letting go of needing approval, letting go of my child and husband - giving them the wings and freedom to be their own true self, letting go of that extra slice of cheesecake :)
Recently I had an artisan take a unique design concept I had created, she took that and reated her own....for a brief moment I was mad and upset. But then I looked at what she had created, and found beauty in it. I started looking more and more on Etsy and Facebook at all those handmade creations for children. Each held something special and unique. Whether or not it was my idea or hers, at the end of the day it helps to take a step back, put things into perspective and allow others to be by simply "letting go".
Now on the brink of spring. New life will spring forth from the grounds, everywhere a fresh start is imminent, the change and shift from winter to another season awaits....all of us! I am eternally grateful to my loving husband for being just that, a loving husband!
Thank God for mistakes, for wrong choices, and for fumbling the ball from time to time, because without them we would never be able to LET GO!
I suppose I should start from the very beginning, when all this "change" started and the energy shifted. About 6.5 months ago some really rough spots hit my marriage. I am married to a wonderful and loving man, we love each other more then perhaps either of us ever thought we could love another person, but even with all this love, things went wrong. Somehow life and selfish choices lead us into the red zone. It was a dark place for me, a very difficult and unyeilding time. I looked for answers in all the wrong places and placed blame on all the wrong people. During this recent struggle within our marriage we were so fortunate and felt so blessed to concieve. After nearly 5 years of trying we were pregnant. All of a sudden all of the darkness and pain from the month before disappeared. Instead of working through our issues that put our marriage into the red zone in the first place we both pretended it never happend. I mean why would we, everything was okay now, we were pregnant and we were going to have a baby! There were other things to think of, names, nurseries, clothes, stocking up on diapers, etc... We didn't convinced ourselves that we didn't have the time to focus on "that stuff" we had more important things to work on and put our energy toward.
But the pregnancy was just a difficult as the moment we just passed within our marriage only a month before hand. Our baby joy was short lived and we accended on an emotional rollacoster ride. One week the Doctors were saying I was pregnant and everything was fine, the following week I was told the baby had died and I should have a D&C, this went on like this week after week for 9 weeks. Now that I reflect it was the same sort of emotinal rollacoster that was happening within our marriage. Finally in week 9 I miscarried and my husband never left my side for one second. He was my only source of strength in a time that was painful and difficult on so many levels. He held my hand, he cried with me, he clean up after me, the first 24 hours were the worst. I had to deal with a miscarriage and cysts bursting on my ovaries at the same time, the pain was incredible. He never left my side. This is profound and maybe too much information, but I feel so compelled to say it. I am eternally grateful and blessed that he was there, words can not express it.
During our pregnancy we did not really sit down to work through and resolve our problems and the issues that plagued our marriage. We simply swept them under the rug and figured out of sight out of mind. Besides we had this wonderful pregnancy to focus on...
Well, the pregnancy did not last, nor did the denial of facing our demons. When the pregnancy fell apart, so did we (to a certain point). Not only did we have the pain of loosing a child but all the issues we had been faced with before resurfaced. Like a cork popping out of a bottle of Champange....full force and it felt as though the bottle had been shaken rather vigorisly before hand! Oh boy, it was not a pretty site. We now had nothing to hide behind or deflect the actions which put our marriage in the red zone to start with.
I fell into a black hole, and allowed this darkness, these demons to consume me. It was like a plague, it seemed impossible to stop and killed everything within its path. I felt as though there was nothing wrong with me or my choices or my behaviour. I blamed everything on my husband and expected him to change everything about himself. Of course it is always easier to blame someone else then to work on yourself. Now, looking back I am eternally grateful to the Universe for hitting me over the head with a 2by4! It was the start of the energy shift; it was the start to reclaiming who I was. Someone who I thought I laid to rest many, many years ago....
I realized that I was living my life in fear, building walls higher then mountains, viewing life like an old disillusioned synic. Wow, I had my homework cut out for me. I realized that I must claim it to change it. So with great difficulty I started to do so......years of pain, lack of confidence, the feelings of not being worthy, the struggles with my weight, the abuse and neglect of my childhood (not from my parents - just to be clear). I had spent my whole life trying to please others, giving away everything that was sacred and beautiful, the purity and love I had in me....I let people abuse me, use me, mistreat me, degrade me, take advantage of my naivity. I did so willingly. I thought that was the only way I would be, could be loved. Change yourself to please the other. Turn the other cheek.
I had decades of emotional havoc to work through. I had to choose to reprogram my belief system. I had to choose to follow my heart. To allow myself to make up my own mind. I had to allow myself to grieve all the wrong doings that I permitted to be done to me. It was two very difficult months, two months of opening wounds that I had voluntarily closed. Opening my heart again to the fears that dwelled within them.
I remember durning this time, my husband who simply would say to me..."let it go Eni" Man oh man, everytime he said it I became more and more furious with him. I thought to myself, "what the hell does he know what I am going through, it is all his fault that I feel this way". While I will not deny that issues we faced in September 2011 were brought on by my husband. However, it is absolutly not his fault that I had these demons living within my heart and mind. You know, with all the internal "work" I have been doing I came to realize that I had actually blamed my husband for pretty much everything that every happend to me in my past. I recall this one time I told him that I have kissed too many frogs, so he was going to pay for that. I held him personally accountable for everything that haunted me from my past....I remember his saying so often " I don't want to pay for ***** mistakes" But boy oh boy, I made him pay! Yup, I guess in a certain way I made my bed. Not that I am the sole reason for any of the issues we faced only a few short months ago, but without it happening I would have never had the courage (or perhaps need) to look within. To open my closet of skeletons, to open up the grave where I had buried all my demons and let them rave havoc on my life, my emotions, my belief system.
With this new energy shift, with the internal work that I have and continue to do on myself. I have noticed some very unexpected and pleasent surprises within my life. First of all, I have adopted the mantra "Let it go, just let it go Eni" this has actually changed my viewpoint on so many things within my life. I started to learn to love me....oh let me tell you, that is a tough one! But I see me in a whole new way. For almost 7 years I have lived in PJ's, yoga pants (but did not do the yoga part) worn out t-shirts, glasses that I have had since I was 15 years old, shoes that have holes in them, underwear that is literally falling apart, no skin care, or hair cuts....it was sad to see. I have been living like that for such a long time, I just thought I was comfortable enough to not worry about my apperance. But let me tell you something, the moment that I started to love and value myself as a woman, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a person! I started to want to care for myself more. Don't misunderstand me, I am writing this whilst I sit here in my PJ's (worn out ones for that matter)! I realized that I had not bought myself ANYTHING in YEARS!!! clothing, shoes, makeup, UNDERWEAR!!!!!! I spent my life, purchasing my pain away....I bought, I shopped but for my daughter, my husband, my mother, my sister, etc.....not that it ever took anything away except what was in my wallet :)
I never put myself first, I put myself last, heck I wasn't even on the list! So all the moms, and wives and women caring for others, putting yourself last is NOT a mother thing. It is a "I don't love myself and feel worthy" thing. The moment I started putting myself higher and higher on the list, the more my family (immediate and extended) started to change how they saw me, how they treated me. How I treated myself. For example, my darling, sweet little girl, wants to dress up and feel pretty, she hugs me and tells me how beautiful I am, her whole attitude towards herself has also changed - I see her being more confident, she has the feeling of stronger selfworth and is happier in general.
So what did I do?
Well aside from doing - and continuing to do so - the internal therapy and work, I started and desired to focus on the fun stuff. The outside, my insides are on the path and I am loving the journey....so the outside has to reflect that. At least for me. I started weight watchers, with my husband in tow, we have both lost weight....I have lost about 20 lbs in 4 weeks. Well, in truth we haven't officially "joined" yet, but I bought the cookbook and we are making as many healthy choices as possible. I will join next week, online - I don't do meetings!
I also started up my pilates routine, although not as full force as when I first started it months ago, but I do an hour 3 times a week. So, eating right, excersise. What else you may ask? I started wearing clothing that no longer hid me, I relish my voluptous rubenesque body...no more huge oversized bleach stained and ripped t-shirts. I feel young, trendy, attractive and in the first time perhaps in my whole life absolutely in love with my body. Naturally I went shopping to reflect that part of me. But this time I had NO guilt in purchasing something that I love for myself.
I went and got my eyes checked and purchased new glasses 15 years in the waiting!!!
Bought some makeup, new earings, got my hair cut and colored....
But I suppose the most important and happy change in my marriage. I learned to "let go" in the begining for my own sanity, but now because in such a short period of time my mantra is my way of life. Letting go of old friendships that no longer serve my heart or life in a healthy way, letting go of belief systems that were integrated into my life from childhood, letting go of my fears of being hurt in life and love, letting go of needing approval, letting go of my child and husband - giving them the wings and freedom to be their own true self, letting go of that extra slice of cheesecake :)
Recently I had an artisan take a unique design concept I had created, she took that and reated her own....for a brief moment I was mad and upset. But then I looked at what she had created, and found beauty in it. I started looking more and more on Etsy and Facebook at all those handmade creations for children. Each held something special and unique. Whether or not it was my idea or hers, at the end of the day it helps to take a step back, put things into perspective and allow others to be by simply "letting go".
Now on the brink of spring. New life will spring forth from the grounds, everywhere a fresh start is imminent, the change and shift from winter to another season awaits....all of us! I am eternally grateful to my loving husband for being just that, a loving husband!
Thank God for mistakes, for wrong choices, and for fumbling the ball from time to time, because without them we would never be able to LET GO!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Have an add on MadCap Blog!!!
My add is right across from the red devil collectable! Hmmm, what does that mean exactly? :)
Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving (here in Canada) and a lovely Colombus Day in the (USA)!!!
http://itsamadcaplife.blogspot.com/
Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving (here in Canada) and a lovely Colombus Day in the (USA)!!!
http://itsamadcaplife.blogspot.com/
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Old sweaters.....New life!
Please check out this wonderful project using recycled sweaters! There is creativity around every corner, with any everyday item! I suppose all you have to do is find the time to do all these fun and wonderful projects!
Thinking of the pillows for Isabel's room!!!! ENJOY :)
http://blogs.babble.com/the-new-home-ec/2011/09/23/21-projects-using-recycled-sweaters/
Thinking of the pillows for Isabel's room!!!! ENJOY :)
http://blogs.babble.com/the-new-home-ec/2011/09/23/21-projects-using-recycled-sweaters/
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
A la fin de l'ètè!
Good bye to summer! For us it has been a whirl wind. We moved into our own home, we went camping as a family together for the first time, got a BBQ and grilled for the first time. My husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary in July! I got to spend some super amazing quality time with my beautiful girl...
Hope yours was memorable and sunny!
Monday, September 19, 2011
Being True to YOURSELF!
While I write this I am listening to Un Ballo In Maschera by Verdi, and I feel this wave of intense emotion washing over me! I have spent so much time in my life being what others felt I should be, doing what others thought I should do...
So here I am faced with some harsh realities in every aspect of my life. In these past few days I have lived some of the darkest days of my life, and although extremely personal, I can say it is in process and each day the sun rises so must I. I must choose to find the best path for me and make concious choices to love and forgive everyday.
As for my "professional" life, I think one of my problems is I have so many passions. Most people have one, I have several and I find it trying to divide my time between them. As with all things in life, especially passions you have to be driven and focused and put your energy into it.
I am a mother, a wife, a designer, a singer and I have a job outside the home too! So, how do I split my time and be good at all those things? Difficult question and one that I have been exploring as of late. I suppose I must put my priorities in order...and that is the difficult thing to do.
What takes presidence?
Being a mother and a wife are equally important to me...and then on the other side of the scale my opera and my designing are as well. Opera gives me a way to express myself in a very out there theatrical sort of way. Being part of the music fills my soul like nothing else. There is something very pure about singing. You must bare yourself completely, be naked, so to speak! It is possibly the most vulnerable you will ever be....it connects a part of my soul that is not accessable otherwise. My issue here, is that I have not fed this part of my soul for a very long time and now I am missing it terribly. So, I have decided to work the voice, work the body and find my way back to this missing piece. As with so many problems facing all of us, it is the commitment, the commitment that must be made. Time, much time. More time then I happen to have in a day.
Someone once told me that you make time for things that are important! I am not sure if this person was wise or just had a lot of time on his hands?!
Then comes my other passion (a new one for me) which is designing and creating children's clothing and accessories. My designs and my sketches are far more indepth and far too complicated for me to produce. In truth I do not possess the skills needed to create my truest designs. I feel I would love to do couture - something extravagent and unique, more one of a kind. But I still love to mix and match patterns and fabrics and take things to the limit with the skills I have now. Sometimes they work sometimes they don't, and that is okay. I love the sense of discovery, of creating. There is a feeling of accomplishment that I simply can not get with other things. The fact that something raw becomes something beautiful in a relatively short period of time. And that you made it, you created it, with your hands! I can not imagine something so gratifiying and exciting.
I have two very strong passions....now how to make it work? They both need a high level of commitment every single day!
Okay, so with this said, to do so means that I must work extremely hard at BOTH.
With sewing, it is not just sewing anymore, no Sir....now it is about blogging (which I don't seem to be very good at - I have seen some amazing ones) and networking, about promoting and showing and marketing! This takes almost a larger time investment then the actual creation of the garment! This is one of the boarders that are hazy, at least for me! How do I, alone (as I am just starting out) get all this done? And still have time for all the other important parts of my life (like my family)?
I am going to make a schedule of sorts. I will schedule my "family,office, production and opera" time.
I will not be able to do 50/. For me, right now, it is simply impossible! So, I will try 25/20/40/15. 25% into family time and 20% into office time, 40% into production time and 15% into opera time . I will try this for 2 weeks and then tweek the numbers accordingly. Because, in truth, you need to do both on a daily basis, but you also need the practicum.
I will start tomorrow and let you all know how it is going! Oh ya, weekends are free days...well,we can try :)
Maybe the 7 dwarfs had it right....whistle while you work.
Or for me it may simply be Sing while you sew :)
You can only be yourself, but you can be very good at it!
.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9vRaGIUVxk&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PLE816F65E31E92F07
So here I am faced with some harsh realities in every aspect of my life. In these past few days I have lived some of the darkest days of my life, and although extremely personal, I can say it is in process and each day the sun rises so must I. I must choose to find the best path for me and make concious choices to love and forgive everyday.
As for my "professional" life, I think one of my problems is I have so many passions. Most people have one, I have several and I find it trying to divide my time between them. As with all things in life, especially passions you have to be driven and focused and put your energy into it.
I am a mother, a wife, a designer, a singer and I have a job outside the home too! So, how do I split my time and be good at all those things? Difficult question and one that I have been exploring as of late. I suppose I must put my priorities in order...and that is the difficult thing to do.
What takes presidence?
Being a mother and a wife are equally important to me...and then on the other side of the scale my opera and my designing are as well. Opera gives me a way to express myself in a very out there theatrical sort of way. Being part of the music fills my soul like nothing else. There is something very pure about singing. You must bare yourself completely, be naked, so to speak! It is possibly the most vulnerable you will ever be....it connects a part of my soul that is not accessable otherwise. My issue here, is that I have not fed this part of my soul for a very long time and now I am missing it terribly. So, I have decided to work the voice, work the body and find my way back to this missing piece. As with so many problems facing all of us, it is the commitment, the commitment that must be made. Time, much time. More time then I happen to have in a day.
Someone once told me that you make time for things that are important! I am not sure if this person was wise or just had a lot of time on his hands?!
Then comes my other passion (a new one for me) which is designing and creating children's clothing and accessories. My designs and my sketches are far more indepth and far too complicated for me to produce. In truth I do not possess the skills needed to create my truest designs. I feel I would love to do couture - something extravagent and unique, more one of a kind. But I still love to mix and match patterns and fabrics and take things to the limit with the skills I have now. Sometimes they work sometimes they don't, and that is okay. I love the sense of discovery, of creating. There is a feeling of accomplishment that I simply can not get with other things. The fact that something raw becomes something beautiful in a relatively short period of time. And that you made it, you created it, with your hands! I can not imagine something so gratifiying and exciting.
I have two very strong passions....now how to make it work? They both need a high level of commitment every single day!
Perhaps I should go to the next level and decide where and what I want from each.
- With my singing, my goal is to sing a full opera by the middle of next year. I have an audition I am presently preparing for and I hope I will be given an opportunity to share my voice with others.
- My goal in designing is to make it my full time job, to be able to always be at home and work from home and make a living out of it.
Okay, so with this said, to do so means that I must work extremely hard at BOTH.
With sewing, it is not just sewing anymore, no Sir....now it is about blogging (which I don't seem to be very good at - I have seen some amazing ones) and networking, about promoting and showing and marketing! This takes almost a larger time investment then the actual creation of the garment! This is one of the boarders that are hazy, at least for me! How do I, alone (as I am just starting out) get all this done? And still have time for all the other important parts of my life (like my family)?
I am going to make a schedule of sorts. I will schedule my "family,office, production and opera" time.
I will not be able to do 50/. For me, right now, it is simply impossible! So, I will try 25/20/40/15. 25% into family time and 20% into office time, 40% into production time and 15% into opera time . I will try this for 2 weeks and then tweek the numbers accordingly. Because, in truth, you need to do both on a daily basis, but you also need the practicum.
I will start tomorrow and let you all know how it is going! Oh ya, weekends are free days...well,we can try :)
Maybe the 7 dwarfs had it right....whistle while you work.
Or for me it may simply be Sing while you sew :)
You can only be yourself, but you can be very good at it!
.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9vRaGIUVxk&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PLE816F65E31E92F07
Monday, September 12, 2011
I am new at this!
So, here I am...yup, I officially have a blog and have no idea what to write. I sort of feel silly about just typing out thoughts of who, what, when, where and how's. But I suppose this is the next step one should take to make that "connection". I will start by telling you a little bit about myself and what I do...and hopefully, it will not be TOO boring :)
So, I make childrens clothing and accessories. In truth, I never really thought I would do this, make kids clothing. Sewing was the furthest thing from my mind. I had my eyes set on becoming an Opera singer. I spent my 20's in Europe working towards that dream. But life happend and choices were made and I stopped singing. I floated around a bit, from one retail job to the next. My mom was sewing all the time, and wanted me to sew too. I hated it. Coming from a Hungarian background, embordering is very important to us. Much of our National Costumes, Folk art comes from women sitting for hours upon end, with a needle and thread, creating some of the most beautiful hand work I have ever seen....my mom made me do that too! Hated it! I vowed never to pick up another needle and thread again. Last November, after endless frustration of my daughters constant complaints about itchy clothing, I decided to make her a shirt (as a trial). I went to the fabric store and bought a few yards of varied fabrics that were on sale. With the guidance of my mother, I sat down to sew. And much to my surprise, I loved sewing, I loved the fact that I have this piece of fabric, just lying there several minutes ago and now it was a sleeve! As I finally completed my first garment, I had this crazy rush. It was so exciting to create something with my hands, nothing had ever given me such satisfaction before. And although it took me a VERY long time to make that first garment, I loved and lived every second of it! It was so odd that something that I hated so much, so many years ago, was now something that I loved. I needed to be sure I really liked it as much as I thought. So, I went back to the fabric store and picked out some more fabrics and a new pattern...my very first dress was about to be sewn and my excitement and anticipation was huge. Yup...I was hooked, I was in love with sewing! Who in a million years would have ever thought that I would be the sewer!
Now, almost a year since my first piece, still get that rush, when I pair together fabrics and start sewing! I still have that feverish level of excitment and anticipation whenever I start sewing, creating something new!
My journey has just started and I hope that you all follow me on this journey called life.
I love bold and colorful fabrics, prints and designs. I am a mid-century modern freak. I adore my daughter and husband. Love Opera and Jazz and am a sucker for the classic American Songbook (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, etc...) Am a movie junkie and love Ginger Ale, chinese food and really good creamy desserts. I Want a dog and I want to finish designing and decorating my folyer!
That's me :)
So, I make childrens clothing and accessories. In truth, I never really thought I would do this, make kids clothing. Sewing was the furthest thing from my mind. I had my eyes set on becoming an Opera singer. I spent my 20's in Europe working towards that dream. But life happend and choices were made and I stopped singing. I floated around a bit, from one retail job to the next. My mom was sewing all the time, and wanted me to sew too. I hated it. Coming from a Hungarian background, embordering is very important to us. Much of our National Costumes, Folk art comes from women sitting for hours upon end, with a needle and thread, creating some of the most beautiful hand work I have ever seen....my mom made me do that too! Hated it! I vowed never to pick up another needle and thread again. Last November, after endless frustration of my daughters constant complaints about itchy clothing, I decided to make her a shirt (as a trial). I went to the fabric store and bought a few yards of varied fabrics that were on sale. With the guidance of my mother, I sat down to sew. And much to my surprise, I loved sewing, I loved the fact that I have this piece of fabric, just lying there several minutes ago and now it was a sleeve! As I finally completed my first garment, I had this crazy rush. It was so exciting to create something with my hands, nothing had ever given me such satisfaction before. And although it took me a VERY long time to make that first garment, I loved and lived every second of it! It was so odd that something that I hated so much, so many years ago, was now something that I loved. I needed to be sure I really liked it as much as I thought. So, I went back to the fabric store and picked out some more fabrics and a new pattern...my very first dress was about to be sewn and my excitement and anticipation was huge. Yup...I was hooked, I was in love with sewing! Who in a million years would have ever thought that I would be the sewer!
Now, almost a year since my first piece, still get that rush, when I pair together fabrics and start sewing! I still have that feverish level of excitment and anticipation whenever I start sewing, creating something new!
My journey has just started and I hope that you all follow me on this journey called life.
I love bold and colorful fabrics, prints and designs. I am a mid-century modern freak. I adore my daughter and husband. Love Opera and Jazz and am a sucker for the classic American Songbook (Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, etc...) Am a movie junkie and love Ginger Ale, chinese food and really good creamy desserts. I Want a dog and I want to finish designing and decorating my folyer!
That's me :)
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